20 Cahill Should Not's
by TheOtherUsernamesWereTaken
Summary: Well come on! Read it! You know you want to! It's rather humorous, at least I hope it is. Just click it! You're missing the story! READ IT! Rated K plus for safety!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I asked to own the 39 Clues on my birthday but I didn't get it. My first story :D I'm so proud of myself... They're out of character sooo if you don't like stories like that don't bother reading.**

**The following are things that should not be done to the 39 Clues characters.**

**1. You should not tell Ian that Amy and Jonah are getting married.**

Dan was bored out of his mind, so he couldn't really think clearly. That's when he pulled this certain prank. He dialed Ian's phone number and made sure Amy wasn't around. "Hello?" said a voice with a British accent.

"IAN! My man! You're going to the wedding right?" Dan said cheerfully.

"What wedding?" Ian asked quizzically.

"Amy's and Jonah's of course!" he replied. Ian sobbed and cried saying how much he loved Amy while Dan held in his laughter. Dan let Ian continue on doing this for an hour before saying "I'm kidding.", and then hanging up. An hour later, he received an email from Ian that was 4 pages long filled mostly with swears and very very bad "yo mama" jokes. Sadly, he had forgotten that Dan's mother was also Amy's mother. So a while later Dan received another email.

Dear Dan,

Don't tell your sister I insulted your mom. If she asks, Natalie did it.

P.S. you're a horrible ninja.

Dan called Ian once more that day and said a few words that 11 year old's should not know just for adding the P.S. part.

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><p><strong>2. You should not make Hamilton Holt join a dance camp. (he doesn't look good in a tutu)<strong>

Nellie had told Amy to stay of Grace's library (where they currently lived) for a day and be a normal teenager. Amy was indeed feeling something that most normal teenagers felt. Complete and utter boredom. She saw a ad on the cover of a magazine that she was thinking of reading. It was an ad for a dancing camp that taught ballet. Amy called the number that was on the ad.

"Hello? Yes I'd like to register someone. My cousin Hamilton Holt, he's too shy to register on his own so I'm doing it for him. And no matter how much he resists, take him to the camp. He'll love it! Thank you!" Amy hung up with a smile on her face.

The next day Hamilton was forcefully taken to the camp. His parents thought it good to get rid of him so they let him go. A week later, Hamilton was back from camp. Amy was the first to call him.

"Hi Ham! Did you like the camp?" she asked.

"I actually did, thanks a lot Ames! I even got 4 free tutu's!" Amy hung up feeling horrified. Hamilton in a tutu...

* * *

><p><strong>3. You should not replace Natalie's clothes with Cat-woman costumes.<strong>

Natalie was being extra bratty lately. Probably her time of the month. Ian was tired of her attitude so he decided to have some revenge. He had ordered 10 Cat-woman costumes and then he had emptied Natalie's closet while she was at one of her friend's mansions. He hung up the costumes on hangers then waited for her to get back. He was sitting on the thousand dollar sofa watching Spongebob (yes, even Kabra's like Spongebob!he's just so awesome!) when she came in.

She glared at him then went up to her room to change her clothes. Natalie grumbled about Ian being a total git, not really noticing what she was putting on (everything in her closet looks good on her (Or so she thinks). She walked down stairs, her clothes felt REALLY tight on her for some reason. She looked in the mirror to see just what she had put in. She screamed. Downstairs, Ian was busting his gut laughing after hearing Natalie's scream. He was so busy laughing, he did not notice Natalie come behind him with a dart gun...

While Ian was knocked out, Natalie admired herself in the mirror wearing the skin-tight black costume.

* * *

><p><strong>4. You should not ask Jonah to read 20 pages of Twilight with a British accent.<strong>

Jonah and Sinead were playing truth or dare on a Sunday at Jonah's mansion in LA. But both of them knew how evil the other one could be while daring someone. So they kept doing truths. Finally, after half an hour of embarrassing pointless truths, Jonah made the mistake of saying dare. And Sinead handed him a copy of Twilight (where'd she even get that?) and told him to read 20 pages of it in a British accent.

Jonah tried to sound gangster with a British accent while reading about vampire love. On page 8, Sinead started regretting her dare. On page 12 she was crying and begging him to stop but Jonah strangely liked reading it and didn't stop. On page 20, Sinead was dead asleep on the floor, snoring softly. Jonah spent the whole day finishing the book.

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><p><strong>5. You should not Photoshop a picture of Dan and Natalie kissing then show it to Fiske Cahill.<strong>

Ian had discovered something very interesting. Photoshop. So far, he'd made a picture with him and Amy getting married. He printed it out and locked it in a safe. Then he made a picture of Natalie and Dan kissing. He laughed his head off at that and decided it to email it to lovely Amy. When Amy got the email she laughed so hard that she fell off the chair she'd been sitting on and almost broke her arm. She was still laughing when she printed it out and ran to Fiske's office. Him and Amy laughed the day away till Fiske almost got a heart attack laughing so much. When Dan found it later that day, Fiske almost had a seizure seeing his face. Especially since he knew that Dan had a giant crush on Natalie.

**These were the first ones I thought of, please review and give me more ideas :D THANK YOU FOR READING!**


	2. Chapter 2

**TADA! The second part of "Twenty Things NOT to do to Cahills." **

**Disclaimer: Its on my wish list for my next birthday :D But for now, I don't own it... Sadness!**

**6. You should not ask Sinead for help with your homework. (Unless you can't sleep)**

Ned and Ted were completing their homework which was making a volcano. Now being Ekats, they were unbelievably smart of course. They could create a pancake maker out of random metal parts and also could create a catapult in less then 4 minutes (3 minutes and 36 seconds was their current record). In conclusion their minds were very advanced but they did not know how to do simple normal homework, such as creating a volcano. So they went over to Sinead's room and asked what to do.

"NED! TED! How many times have I told you! YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK ON YOUR OWN! See, I read a book about this girl in a book of mine. Jenson Carrie, and she didn't do her homework much. By the way, I normally wouldn't read books like that but honestly, Wonah Jizard (figure this out...) is an amazing writer and I couldn't help myself! So the girl had homework assigned on quantum physics and asked her big-NED AND TED STARLING! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING? THIS IS AN IMPORTANT REASONABLE STORY!" Sinead yelled.

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><p><strong>7. You should not challenge Dan to eat a whole bag full of skittles.<strong>

Amy and Dan had a bet. Dan bet Amy that he could eat a bag of skittles in 10 minutes and not throw up. Amy obviously didn't think hard about just how much candy that was. Dan started eating... And he ate till his tongue resembled a rainbow. Dan looked a bit green. Then his eyes widened.

"OHMYGOD! THAT TASTED AMAZING! TASTE THE RAINBOW YOU STUPID USELESS LEPRECHAUNS! NO ONE LIKES YOU! MONKEY! AMYYYY! YOU LOOK PRETTY!" he yelled trying to hug her.

"Gross! Oh no...WHAT HAVE I DONE!" she said in horror, just realizing how hyper Dan got when he ate just a pack of skittles, and she had given him a bagful. She had a plan though... A smart plan. Amy made like a bookworm and got herself a very very thick hard-cover copy of Septimus Heap and hit Dan upside the head.

"God loves you... Nahhtilleee... But I lov-" Dan said dizzily slowly falling to the floor.

"Skittles." he finished collapsing onto the floor.

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><p><strong>8. You should not lock Natalie and Dan in a closet together.<strong>

Amy did once when Natalie and Ian came over. Amy told Natalie to go look for Dan who was in Amy's walk-in closet looking for Amy's red Converse high-tops. Natalie went in and was about to drag him outside when the door behind them shut.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" both of them screamed banging on the door with their fists. Amy laughed a fake evil laugh and left. Natalie glared at Dan but in the dark they couldn't see each other so it was quite pointless.

An hour passed... Natalie took red lipstick out of her jacket pocket and marked Dan with it just to annoy him for she was as bored as can be. Sadly, Dan was too miserable to do anything about it. Another hour later.. Ian and Amy opened the door to the closet. What they think happened is not a bit creepy but a whole lot creepy. They were both sleeping... Dan's head was on Natalie's lap, and Natalie's hands in Dan's hair. The strange part was, Dan had red lipsticks marks all over his face... Natalie was wearing red lipstick! Amy shut the door screaming

"OHMYGOD!" with Ian following behind looking wide-eyed and a tiny bit jealous. Natalie got her Cahill! Why shouldn't he get his?

* * *

><p><strong>9. You should not tamper with, touch, poke, or stare at Hamilton's football helmet. (it will get you physically and mentally harmed.)<strong>

Hamilton was supposed to "hang out" with the idiot named Carson because his parents thought they should have alliances. Carson was a Ekat and insulted Hamilton every chance he got. So far Hamilton had been nice and didn't do much about it. He just gritted his teeth and didn't say a thing. Hamilton went to take a shower while leaving the Ekat boy alone. Carson saw something interesting in Ham's room... A football helmet. He tried to reach it from the shelf it was on. He shoved it a bit. Then it fell into his hand along with a paint set that was behind it... Thirty minutes later Hamilton came back to see his worst nightmare... His football helmet painted pink with a few flowers on it. Carson was painting even more flowers smirking like a evil Lucian, well, Ekat in this case. Hamilton took him by the collar of his shirt and literally flung him into to the door. He did not regret his actions when he went to the emergency care section of the hospital.

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><p><strong>10. You should not poke Ian's dimples. (Unless you're a toddler)<strong>

Ian was babysitting three year old Lucian Jace Black. Jace was an adorable little girl with big blue eyes, curly blonde hair and tiny little hands and feet. Adorable right? Don't forget, in a few years she'll be able to hold you at gun point. Only god knew where Natalie had gone so Ian was babysitting alone. He had a forced smile on his face that creeped Jace out a bit. Till she noticed his dimples.

Ian of course towered over the curious little toddler but when he sat down, she climbed onto his lap then stood up and poked his dimples. Ian glared at the little girl but she giggled helplessly and still poked Ian's face. Ian then picked up the toddler and put her on the floor. Jace screamed and cried loudly. Ian face palmed himself. Evil little toddler...

**A WHILE LATER... **

Ian sat with Jace in his lap still poking his dimples and laughing. He decided to submit a entry into his virtual diary.

Dear Virtual Diary,

Three year old's are and always will be more powerful than me. And, DAN AND NATALIE MADE OUT! SO UNFAIR! I want my Cahill ='( -sincerely Ian Kabra

**And again, thanks for reading! =D Review if you can! CC is always appreciated since this is my first story. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hellooooo to all! Happy late Fourth of July! I'm a bit late, am I not? Well either way, I've thought of new things you should not do. And now you'll be reading them :D Also, Amy and Ian are 16 Dan, and Madison are all 14.**

**11. You should not piss Natalie off when she's already pissed off.**

Natalie was not having a very good day. Nope, not one bit! First, Ian was remodeling their mansion so she couldn't be at home. Second, she was stuck at Grace's mansion. Third, Ian had taken away her phones (yes, she has more than one! She's the daughter of a billionaire! you don't really expect her to just have one do you?).

Fourth, she was stuck with Dan because everyone else was at a branch meeting. Idiots.

"NATALIE! NATALIE! AHHHHH! HELP!" Dan yelled from upstairs.

'Oh no! NOW VESPERS TOO!' she thought as she raced up to his room with her black messanger bag, only to find him unable to find the remote for the TV in his room. Natalie gave him a death glare and then sat down on the bed thinking and pouting. Dan turned the TV on and was watching "Sumo Slammers". But after a while, he got bored and decided to bug her.

"Nat..." he said softly. "What?" she asked.

"Hi." he whispered.

"Hi to you too, now be quiet." and went back to pouting and thinking of ways to embarrass Ian.

"But I don't wanna!" Dan pouted. Natalie glared at him and didn't say a thing thinking ignoring him would shut him up. She was thinking Ian would do, if she went on his Clique Me and posted his status as "I LOVE AMY CAHILL TO DEATH!" then all of a sudden Dan broke her out of her thoughts.

"Natalieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Dan said stretching the E in her name.

"Shut up." she said quite bluntly.

"BUT I -" Dan got cut off as Natalie reached into her bag and pulled out a bazooka (god knows how she fit that in there).

"SHUT UP OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FACE OFF!" Dan cowered a bit and shut up.

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><p><strong>12. You shouldn't introduce Rebecca Black to Jonah.<strong>

Ian had told Natalie that he was going to a branch meeting and then had taken her away her phone for "security reasons" and she actually believed him! He had had a nice lunch with Amy who was now watching some movie with Sinead. Currently Ian was hanging out with Jonah in the Wizard beach villa. The two teens were on YouTube watching random videos when Ian got an idea.

"Hey Jonah, you know who Rebecca Black is right?" he asked grinning.

"No man, who's that chick?" Jonah asked quizzically. Ian typed in "Friday" into the search bar and clicked on the song. It started playing... After 13 seconds... Jonah was on the flooring crying "MAKE IT STOP!" and Ian was laughing like a cartoon villan.

* * *

><p><strong>13. You should not ask Amy to name her and Ian's kids after you.<strong>

Amy was sitting on a comfy overstuffed armchair in Grace's library quietly reading. Sitting next to her on a equally comfy chair, was a 16 year old boy with spiky black hair, pale skin, blue eyes and a bored expression on his face. Jason Black, one of Amy's close Lucian friends (the Kabra's aren't the only Lucian teens). He was waiting for Dan to come home from his fishing trip, which he had gone to with some of his friends. Jason had decided to talk to Amy while waiting, but after like two minutes, they were bored hearing of each other's days and remained in a pregnant silence for about five minutes. Till, Amy had suggested to go to the library. And after that, Amy had started reading. Twenty minutes later, she still was and all the while, Jason had been doing nothing at all, unless you counted drumming on a book with pencils as something amazing that's worth mentioning. Then all of a sudden, he had a very curious question.

"Hey Ames, gotta question for ya," he said grinning at her.

Amy looked up from her book and said "Ask me then," and Jason's grin grew wider.

"You know... When you're older and married to Ian and have a nice little baby boy... You'll name him after me, right?" he asked sounding completely and utterly serious.

For a while Amy just stared at him wide eyed, then she closed her book. After that, she picked up a hard cover Harry Potter book and hit Jason upside the head with it. When he was knocked out, she muttered to herself, "Jason would be a nice name! I bet Ian would like it. I've gotta tell him that sometime..."

* * *

><p><strong>14. You should never question Nellie's football abilities.<strong>

Dan was practicing for football tryouts in the football field at his school, when Nellie came by to drive him home.

"Hey kiddo, whatcha up to?" she asked smiling at the blonde boy.

"You know, just getting ready for the football tryouts! You might wanna move though, my football skills are like amazing and I don't wanna hit you." he said grinning. Nellie squinted her eyes in rage and annoyance.

"Really then? Wanna practice your tackle buddy?" She asked smirking. Lucian much?

"Nah, you're a girl Nellie! I'm not allowed to hit you." he answered smiling at her like she was nothing at all compared to him in football.

"Bring it on kiddo," she glared.

"Alright, fine, but if you get hurt, your fault alright?" Dan replied getting into a position to go past her and get to the hundred yard line, brimming with confidence. Soon as he got to the sixty yard mark, Nellie put her foot out and then pushed him about ten yards back, stole the football and got a touchdown. She started doing her touchdown dance when Dan got up looking dazed.

"How.." he mumbled lost and awestruck at the same time.

"I'm a seventh degree black belt Dan, DON'T FORGET THAT!" she said going back to doing her touchdown dance.

* * *

><p><strong>15. You shouldn't tell Natalie that Madison made out with Dan.<strong>

Natalie had been annoying Jason lately, as in dragging him all over Europe shopping. And unless you wanted to die early, you did not mess with a Lucian, even if you are one. So, when they had gotten back, and had been invited to stay over at Grace's mansion with all the other Cahills for a week, he had a plan. Natalie had always had a giant crush on Dan and Dan had liked her back but they wouldn't admit it. Jason already had picked out what to wear to their wedding... And, this helped Jason come up with his plan. Dan and Madison were just hanging out on the balcony, laughing about random things. That's when the black haired teen came in with Natalie in tow. He had a evil smile on his face but no one noticed that and greeted him and Natalie nicely. Natalie said "hello" right back to them smiling politely and taking a seat beside Dan. Jason remained standing by the door, still smiling evilly.

"Hey Madison, and Dan, did we interrupt anything?" he said acting surprised and concerned.

"Uh, no man, you didn't," Dan replied looking unsure.

"Oh, good, cause like, I remember that time when I accidentally walked in on you and Madison kissing! God, that was embarrassing! Right-You did what?" Natalie said interrupting Jason. Jason let out a laugh and then sat down ready to the drama unfold.

"DANIEL CAHILL! I can't believe you! You lead me on this whole time?" Natalie said looking like she was gonna kill him and burst out crying. Then she stood up and looked at Madison. "And, I cannot believe you Madison! Going on and on about how you thought Dan liked me." by now Dan was standing up hugging Natalie, while at least trying to.

"DON'T EVEN TOUCH ME!" she cried out and ran out.

Dan turned around and soon as he did, Jason started running.

Next day, when the two found out what had happened, Jason's punishment from Natalie was to go to a ten hour long fashion show with her. Dan didn't give him a punishment, just gave him a black eye and a bloody nose. Jason still thought it was worth it, even after all that. A Lucian is stubborn, and a stubborn person is always a bit stupid.

**Bad or good? This is the third part of my annoying little story! Hope you enjoyed it! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own and if you do any of the following, I'm not in any way responsible for bodily harm being caused to you or having your head taken off then is handed to a tiger shark or any loss of dignity.**

**Oh, and scroll down mate! You're missing the story.**

**16. You should not wake up sleeping Cahills. (THIS. MEANS. YOU.)**

Dan paced around the living room of Grace's mansion (now fully restored), at 6 A.M. glaring at the giant grandfather clock with unbelievable hate in his piercing green eyes. Why was Dan mad at the clock? It refused to move faster, it went so slowly that Dan could have sworn it was actually doing it on purpose just to annoy him. The boy had woken up early this morning deciding that he'd get a head start on pranking his fellow cousins with Ned and Ted though the two would not awake no matter what he hit them-

Sorry, _no matter what he did_. He kept pacing feeling the soft fuzzy carpet under his bare-feet sighing sadly and the boy kept up for quite a while until it happened. Dan had an idea. Yes, it was rather simple but ingenious none the less. His jade eyes sparkled with mischief and he opened his mouth wide and yelled with lungs that would've made a football coach embarrassed.

"The Vespers are attacking!"

Hamilton, Ian, Ned, and Ted raced down the stairs all in their boxers followed by the Sinead, Amy, Reagan, Madison, and Natalie, all holding various sorts of dart guns and weapons besides Amy who had grabbed a rather large fly swatter, instead of her tranquilizer gun by mistake.

"What happened!" Amy yelled at Dan.

"Did they take anything or anyone?" Ian questioned.

"When did they attack!" Hamilton shouted. Their questions flew at Dan, their voices all worried or shocked but dead serious. Dan stayed silent, smiling.

"Good morning," He finally said.

Realization suddenly hit all the Cahills.

"YOU! You woke us up for no reason at all Daniel!" Natalie hissed at him with a death glare, pointing her gun at him. The other Cahills had the exact same menacing look on their faces, maybe even scarier and all of a sudden they formed a small circle around Dan. They raised their weapons at the green eyed boy. Of course they wouldn't fire at him! No, don't be silly, legal troubles would take too much time for them to fix, they have lives you know. However, there was always the option of bashing Dan's head in which is exactly what they were just about to do.

Dan's eyes went wide as he realized his cousins (and sister) were about to kill him.

The boy ran as fast as his legs could carry him but he got spanked by Amy's fly swatter in the end any way so in all honesty it didn't even matter.

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><p><strong>17. You should not forget to wear a belt. <strong>

Ian was rather cheerful today, the Lucians finally had devised a plan to get rid of the Vespers and Ian was responsible for most of it. It was so perfect that even the idiotic Holts would be able to carry it out. All he had to do was announce it at the Cahill meeting, which where Ian was heading off to in his limo. As his driver steered the elegant limo, Ian felt a shred of nervousness creep into him and it was due to a strange reason.

His pants felt too loose and he wore no belt.

_I'll just stay seated then!_ he thought smiling, now confident once more. After a while, the limo stopped in front of a tall impressive looking glass building and Ian stepped out and went into the building. He walked into a conference room, smiling at his fellow Cahill branch leaders and agents and then sitting down.

For a long while, people blabbed on and on and exchanged a few death threats and horrifying insults but then it was finally Ian's turn to present his plan and he proceeded to do so. He took out a large poster from his leather briefcase and tacked it up onto the wall then sat back down and got a laser pointer then pointed it at the poster which had a lot of complicated words and pictures on it.

"As you know, the Vespers have been getting bolder and bolder these days but I have a plan to scare the wits out of them. It's quite simple but-"

"Ian, I have a question," Amy, substitute Madrigal branch leader (Fiske was still in Hawaii), interrupted him with a childlike curious voice and her dainty little hand raised.

"Amy, love, all questions about the plan should be asked after I fully explain it!" Ian answered with a sophisticated tone. Amy cocked her head to the side in puzzlement.

"But it's not about your plan and it's a bit important!" She exclaimed, staring at the boy with pleading green eyes. Strangely, all the other Cahills in the room were dead silent watching the scene unfold with complete and utter curiosity.

"Fine, ask." He replied glaring at the redhead, wondering just what exactly was so urgent that she had to interrupt him.

"Why are you sitting down and presenting this? You should be standing."

"Because I want to!"

"Stand up." Alistair, Ekatrina branch leader, said bluntly to his childish outburst before any sound came out of Amy's already open mouth.

"FINE! IF IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO YOU PEOPLE!" Ian stated dramatically, standing up tall and then pointing his pointer once more. Strangely, his legs felt very breezy and cold.

"So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted! My plan is simple yet ingenious and I'm completely sure it will work!" He glared pointedly at Amy for a tiny bit but Amy didn't return his glare with a look of innocence or hate or such, but shock. And she wasn't even staring at his face but she was staring down at his pants along with all the other people in the room. Ian followed the redhead's gaze to his boxers, which were rather interesting in all honesty for they were white with pink dollar signs.

"If you all would please excuse me for a moment," Ian said his voice plain and void of any embarrassment and emotion. He rushed out of the room, but not before the Cahills took a few pictures with their phones.

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><p><strong>18. You should not make lost posters for Ian's pants and his dignity. Even if it is quite needed.<strong>

Natalie Kabra rushed to her brother's study hurriedly, holding two rolled up posters and a huge signature Kabra smirk plastered on her face. She didn't bother knocking, but almost broke the door down in er excitement.

"IAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs, which made sure Ian's eardrums were never the same again.

"What is it Natalie!" He shouted back in extreme annoyance. He was not in the mood for Natalie or any of her stupid little stories or complains about how her diamond polisher only went up to "sparkly" and not "dazzling" like her friend Maya's did.

"I've got presents for you my dear brother," She smiled at him with blindingly white teeth and big amber eyes, the picture of innocence. Ian merely raised his eyebrows at her. Natalie started to unroll her posters with the smile still plastered on her face. To Ian the smile was like that of a proud five year old showing her father something, so Ian's gaze softened and he smiled at her ready to fear the worst, like his Armani pants bedazzled with pink glass beads or something of that sort. Sadly, what Natalie showed Ian was nothing of the sort yet it was even worse and it made him grab the small dart on his desk and throw it at her arm, knocking her out for a hour. He glared at the posters with hate filled eyes.

One of the posters showed Ian in his boxers from the Cahill meeting with the words "dignity lost, if found please contact Ian Kabra" stamped on it in red. The other one was of Ian smiling wearing Armani pants (the ones he wore to the branch meeting). The pants had been circled in red, and written at the bottom of the picture was "Armani pants lost, if found please contact Ian Kabra".

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><p><strong>19. You should not call Alistair old. Even if he is.<strong>

Ned had nothing to do. Nothing! Nada! None! Ted and Sinead had gone shopping (Sinead had, Ted had been dragged away against his own will) and so the whole house was empty save Alistair (he was visiting and watching the Starling kids till their parents got back from their Canadian vacation) but he was napping. His friends were all too busy with important scholarly things. Maybe he could bug his fellow Cahills. Ned grabbed his rather sleek looking phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, this is Dan-"

"Hey dude!"

"Sorry, I ain't here but I'm probably busy or I'm avoiding you! Leave a message and find out!"

Ted glared at his phone for a bit then hung up. Ted had been through loads of horrifying things these past few months but none of them compared to the thing he was battling now. Boredom. Someone really ought to make up a serum to cure that, it'd be even more useful than the master serum.

Ted sulked out of his room, stomped down the stairs, and finally plopped down onto the leather sofa in the Starling house living room then proceeded to glare at the TV which wasn't even on at the time. Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only like three minutes, he had thought of something to do and it was rather intelligent! He ran to the guest room where Alistair was staying and smiled brightly then knocked.

"Ted? What is it?" Alistair asked opening the door, looking a tad bit cranky and a whole lot sleepy.

"Well uncle, one of my classmates called you old and said you looked like you were 64! I think you look way younger so do you mind telling me just how old you are exactly?"

"Erm, I'm about 40 Ted," Alistair answered, looking rather pleased with Ted yet uncomfortable.

"Really? Last time you said you were 42 my dear uncle," The auburn haired boy looked up at Alistair with big wide innocent eyes.

"I thought you didn't how old I was," Alistair said bluntly scowling at the boy.

"Well you said you were that old, and I was just testing you. How old are you really then?"

"I am indeed 42," Alistair confirmed nodding his head.

"Cool! So why does Wikipedia say you're 64?" Ted smirked at his uncle.

"Wikipedia lies!" Alistair answered haughtily, glaring now.

"I talked to the Wiki editor's source and they said you confirmed it yourself," Now obviously Ted was lying, and you did not need to be a Lucian to see through his lies but Alistair in his shameful and annoyed state did not and slammed the door shut.

"Crazy old coot," Ted muttered to himself laughing lightly before walking.

"You sir are grounded, there are good things that come with age you know." Alistair yelled from his room while Ted was still walking across the hall to his room, his smirk was then replaced with a deep scowl as he now trudged to his room in a pouty emoish mood.

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><p><strong>20. You should not prank call Vespers.<strong>

Madison and Reagan stood still as Jason inspected them with piercing cold blue eyes. You see, Madison and Reagan were supposed to be mansion-sitting (as in Grace's mansion) and Jason had been "volunteered" to inspect them. The two twins had been ecstatic to learn that they had been selected to do it but still they were curious about a few things.

"Jason? Why aren't you doing this yourself? Not that we mind doing it but still," Madison asked curiously smiling up at the raven-haired teen who looked away from the girl as if recalling a painful memory.

**FLASHBACK (branch meeting, 2 hrs before):**

Amy smiled at all the Cahill's in the conference room with pleading jade eyes. She was hoping so very badly that someone would very kindly excuse themselves from the Vesper mission and then watch after Grace's mansion (also, a popular Madrigal base) but sadly she know that no one would and in the end after hours of waiting, she would have to force someone to do it. Her jade green eyes scanned the room again and they landed on Jason who she glared at for he sat in his chair with headphones in his ears and eyes closed, not even bothering to listen.

"So, is everyone sure they wish to do this? One of you may stay out of this mission and lounge around at the Cahill mansion," Fiske asked (for what seemed like the millionith time to most people) everyone from next to Amy.

"Fiske, don't even bother! No one's mansion-sitting! It's horribly boring!" Madrigal and Lucian double-agent Jada exclaimed looking bored as one can be, painting her nails with nailpolish. Fiske and Amy sighed in unison and Amy looked around the room again at the bored looking at the various agents then pulled out her phone and started playing Diner Dash. No one was leaving till they had this settled of course so she might as well make the best of it.

"Ahem!" Ian cleared his throat rather loudly breaking the silence and making everyone stare at him.

"Jason would like to volunteer!" He said exclaimed loudly, big friendly yet horribly fake smile plastered on his face and amber eyes sparkling. At this Jason ripped the headphones out of his ears and opened his silvery blue eyes wide.

"NO! I WOULD NOT!"

"Jason, please do it!" Amy pleaded pouting at the teen.

"No."

"Jasey! Please please please! We wanna go home!" Jada begged the raven-haired boy using his nickname (which he hated).

"NO!"

"PLEASE!" By now everyone was saying please, even the older agents in the room.

"Nopers,"

"Please punk-boy! FOR YOUR BRANCH!" Ian begged.

"Nuh,"

"PLEASE!" Everyone pleaded all together.

"ALRIGHT! ONE MORE PERSON SAY PLEASE I DARE YOU! I WILL SEND YOU HOME IN A BODY-CAST!" Jason yelled loudly at everyone finally standing up, and giving them all a look filled with so much hate and annoyance it would've made a hardened serial killer shudder. Everyone sighed simultaneously and went back to what they were doing before giving up on their one hope to get out of that horrifyingly boring conference room.

"Get the Holt twins to do it, they can't mess it up that badly, especially if someone helps them out a bit before the whole Vesper invasion thing starts you know." Jason said before shoving his headphones back into his ears. At this many of the Cahills then turned to smile at the blue eyed and now horrified teenager.

**BACK TO GRACE'S MANSION:**

"Err, I've got my reasons." Jason replied to the girl's questions shifting a bit uncomfortably.

"Well ok Jasey," Madison shrugged.

"So! Once again, Saladin's coming with us so no need to worry about him alright?" Jason smiled at the girls then pulled something sleek and silver out of his pocket and handed it to the twins.

"What's this?" Reagan questioned.

"Most advanced phone in the world, imported from Japan and it has a titanium case and a small self-destruct bomb in it so it may also be used as a weapon if needed in case of an emergency. If you look at the contacts, it has your mom and dad's number along with your brother's, and also has my own and then Ian's, Amy's, Natalie's, Dan's, Fiske's, Sinead's, and Alistair's along with many others and it also the number for the Vesper office and you may only use that to call undercover Lucian agents or us since we will be at that Vesper base but do so if something goes horribly wrong and do so only after pressing the "hide location" button which may be found under settings. All credit for this goes to the Ekatrina's, namely the Starlings." Jason recited all this as if he was used to saying it and had it memorized. Soon as he finished, he grinned at Madison and Reagan, gave a tiny playful salute, said his goodbye's to the girls and then headed off to an awaiting helicopter outside.

Three hours after Jason left, and Madison and Reagan had filled themselves with potato chips, Reagan got her rather brilliant thought.

"Maddy, wanna prank call the Vespers?" Reagan questioned.

"Are you crazy? You heard Jason! Only for emergencies!" Madison burst out at her sister looking at her as if she was completely insane.

"There's the hide location thingy! Maddy come on! It'll be funny won't it? And it would totally get us some respect with the Lucian kids. Especially Drew Wooden." Adding the last few words as an afterthought.

"Fine." Madison agreed instantly but only because she had a major crush on Drew Wooden. The two then proceeded to look through the contact list on the phone and pressed the little call button on the touch-screen phone next to the Vesper number.

"This is Leona Smithy, who is this and how may I help you?" A rather friendly voice answered.

"Hi! I'm looking for Ineeda Bath, is she around?" Madison restrained her giggles.

"Ineeda Bath is unavailable."

"Well you really do need a bath!" Reagan yelled into the phone. Madison laughed her head off at that. And you wonder why people call the Holts stupid.

"Your call has been cut." A different voice said as the call ended. The twins had laughing fit over their "prank-call".

"I feel like we forgot something Maddy!" Reagan said, wiping a tear from her eyes and ending her laughing fit.

"Yeah same here sis," Madison replied smiling widely.

An hour later, Madison and Reagan finally remembered just what it was that they failed to remember.

"WE FORGOT TO PRESS THE HIDE LOCATION BUTTON! CALL JASON! NOW!" The pair yelled unison. The two hurriedly dialed his number freaking out all the while about how much trouble they were in.

"Hellooo? Jason Black here, "

"JASON! We accidently, umm, called the Vespers and didn't press the hide location button!" Reagan literally screamed into the phone.

"Calm down! They won't trace it for a while but we will be there soon! Don't worry for now! I've got to go for now but beware! You all are not in trouble, I'll handle it soon!" Jason replied frantically then proceeded to hang up.

"Alright Jason, bye." The two said a bit relieved but still panicking.

**ON A PLANE TO LAS VEGAS, NEVADA (Same time):**

"Jason, when are you gonna tell them that was completely fake?" Ian questioned a laughing Jason.

"When Hamilton tells me to, they turned his football helmets pink apparently! Let them suffer anyway! They always black mail us, remember?" Jason answered grinning at his amber-eyed friend.

"Well, alright then!"

**'Tis over! Sad, no? Well read and review all of you little folks!**


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